


The Photograph

by DirtyLilGreaseMonkey



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-01 17:24:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4028431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DirtyLilGreaseMonkey/pseuds/DirtyLilGreaseMonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robert is having trouble sleeping and there is only one thing that helps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Roberts Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, so I'm trying out a multi chapter story, not sure how many there will be yet so please let me know if you want more.  
> Feedback always welcome.

_Chasing, running, climbing higher and higher the panics beginning to set in but he never seems to move further, never reaches his goal._

 

Robert woke in a cold sweat.

He reached out and felt a warm supple arm next to him but that did nothing to ease his racing heart. It wasn't the arm he wanted to feel, he wanted the hairy muscular arm of the scrap worker, the one he had been trying to get to in his dream.

He'd been having the same dream since he moved back into Home Farm. Of chasing him but never reaching him, it was becoming a real problem.

He hadn't had a goodnights sleep since, well since Aaron had stayed over.

He's always had trouble sleeping, and when he does manage to drift off, it’s always disturbed, he normally doesn't remember his dreams but both Aaron and Chrissie have mentioned that he kicks out in his sleep, like he’s running. But these dreams are different, he remembers everything and it breaks his heart each time he wakes, like he's lost a part of himself.

Knowing that he won't be able to sleep tonight he grabs his phone and heads downstairs, he needs a drink.

He contemplates texting Aaron, just so he knows he's thinking about him, but he's not sure the younger boy would care even if he did. They haven’t really gotten on over the past few weeks, mostly due to Roberts stupidity, and Aaron has made it pretty clear that things are over.

Robert pours himself a large scotch and heads into the office; he fires up his laptop and sets about replying to the thirty or so emails he's received since he last checked. The scotch is helping his nerves and as he feels his eyes can no longer focus on the words in front of him, he shuts the lid of his laptop and takes out his phone instead. He doesn't know why but he checks that no one is around before opening the folder containing his photos. He scrolls back to find it, the one thing that has given comfort over the past few weeks. The one image that will be forever scorched in his memory.

When the image appears on the screen he breathes a sigh of relief, if only he could go back. He took the photo a few weeks ago, unbeknown to its subject. Robert has often found himself staring at the image with such genuine happiness; it actually scares him a little.

It’s become something of a ritual now, getting up in the middle of the night, drinking and working when we can’t sleep but the night always ends the same, with him staring at this picture.

He closes his eyes and reminisces back to that time, that amazing week a few months back.

 

_He's lost, he's calling out but no one answers._

_He's searching again but can’t find what he’s looking for._

 

He's jerked back to consciousness by the sound of breaking glass, he must have drifted off with the glass on his hand.

Shit.

He heads to the kitchen to find something to help clean up the mess.

He’s getting frustrated, he's slamming doors because he can't find anything in this house, it's too damn big! He knows if just the after effects of the dream making him lash out. Finally he finds a dustpan in the utility room and heads back into his office.

Once he's cleaned up the broken glass he checks the time, its 3am, and notices he has a text.

He opens it to find it’s from Aaron.

> **Erm do ya mind explaining?**

He hasn't heard from him in over a week, what’s he on about?

He checks back through his texts and drops the phone like it’s on fire.

He runs his hands through his hair.

Oh no.

How was he gonna explain this?

With a tightening in his stomach he deletes the text, ignoring it and hoping it will go away so he doesn’t have to explain.

He should really delete the photo but as his finger hovers over the image he cannot bring himself to get rid of the one thing that has made him truly happy these past few weeks.

He pours himself another drink, downs it in one and heads back upstairs.

As he climbs into bed a feeling of dread washes over him,

' _I’ve blown it'_ , he thinks,

_'How could I be so stupid?'_

He lays awake staring up at the ceiling knowing there is no way he can go back to sleep now.


	2. Aarons Night Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After enjoying a night out Aaron recieves an unexpected text.

Aaron had been into town with Adam and was just getting back in when his phone went off, it was only a message so he didn’t answer straight away.

He waves Adam off and heads in the back door of the pub. He’s a little tipsy but being sensible he makes his way to the kitchen and gets himself a glass of water. He remembers the last time he did that was for Robert. He had been really drunk in the middle of the afternoon and Aaron had tried to sober him up. It didn’t end well, he tried to kiss him and Aaron let him for a split second before coming to his senses and pushing him away. The hurt look on Roberts face had nearly killed him, but he wasn’t about to be anybody’s second choice. His mum had witnessed the attempted kiss and of course told Paddy. The incident nearly got him kicked out. But in the end, he couldn’t deny Robert, he had this hold over him, so being the martyr he was, he went to see Chrissie, to try and get Robert out of his life. No matter how hard he tried though, his thoughts always turned to Robert and that’s one of the reasons he went out tonight, to try and forget about him.

They had been through so much just in this one room, Aaron recalled still drinking his water. The hurt, the pain, but also some good times too. Aaron remembered the first time Robert actually showed he cared. It was they day Cain had been rushed to hospital, Aaron just wanted to be left on his own but Robert came over, made him a cup of tea and reassured him that Cain would be alright. Aaron got upset and before he could storm out Robert grabbed him and held him. God it had felt good to hold him. He missed their connection.

‘ _Stop it_ ,’ Aaron told himself.

Putting thoughts of Robert out of his mind he climbed the stairs slowly so he didn’t disturb his mum or Diane, and once in is room he decided to turn in for the night.

He stripped off his shirt, avoiding the mirror, he still didn’t like looking at the scars even after all this time, and as he was emptying his pockets he remembered he had received a text. He sat down on his bed and opened the message.

His heart raced when he saw who it was from. Robert. He thought it was a little strange as they hadn’t spoken to each other since he moved back in, with her.

It wasn’t actually at text but an image, Aaron opened it and had to look twice, he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

What the fuck?!?

He looked again and he knew when it must have been taken, that week, that glorious week a few months back, but why was he showing him this now after all this time, when they hadn’t spoken in so long.

Tears start to fill his eyes as he remembers that time, how happy they were, but Robert had to go and ruin it like he ruins everything. Aarons sadness was soon replaced with anger.

What was he playing at, and when the hell did he take that picture?

He sent a reply without even thinking.

 

> **Erm do ya mind explaining?**
> 
>  

Looking down at his scars he knew he couldn’t let himself feel like that again, it nearly broke him last time, so since that week he had bottled all the feelings up, which he knew was a bad idea. That’s when the running had got out of control, in the end it got so bad he put himself in hospital, so he knew he couldn’t do that anymore so now he had to try and act like he didn’t care.

He waited for a reply, he knew would never come.

Feeling the effects of the night, he laid his head down on his pillow and drifted off into a restless sleep with thoughts of the blonde boy and that incredible week.


	3. The Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After weeks of not talking, Aaron demands some answers.

Robert was up before the alarm, he hadn’t managed to get back to sleep, just laid awake thinking of Aaron.

Robert checked his phone, he had left the picture up so when he unlocked his screen it was the first thing he saw and he couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face. He really must be more careful.

Then he remembered the text from Aaron.

Shit.

………………………………

Aaron woke with a thick head, the tears still unshed from the previous evening blurring his vision.

He’d spent days trying to stop thinking about Robert and for the first time last night actually thought he could live without him, and then he sends that. That image of when things were great, when they were actually happy together.

‘ _Aarrghhh_!’ Aaron thought.

‘ _I can’t live like this, he needs to stop_.’

He picks up his phone and sees that there is still no reply.

He quickly types out a text to Robert.

> **Right, we need to talk.**

…………………………………

Robert is making his way downstairs when his phone vibrates. The noise makes him take a sharp intake of breath.

‘ _This is it_ ’ he thinks.

As expected the text is from Aaron

> **Right, we need to talk.**

Robert was hoping to avoid this, he really didn’t want to have to explain to Aaron of all people why he had that picture. But he knew that if he didn’t talk to Aaron he would never feel quite as good looking at it again. He would have to explain.

With a defeated sigh he scrolled to Aarons number and pressed call.

> “What the hell Robert.”
> 
> “Listen, Aaron, I can explain.”
> 
> “Oh really, I’d love to hear that,” Aaron replied unable to stop the sarcasm.
> 
> “Can we go somewhere.”
> 
> “Not such a good idea that is it mate.”
> 
> “Please Aaron, you wanted to talk so lets talk.”
> 
> “Fine, I’m not working today so you can come over, make it after lunch though will ya, so my mum won’t see you, the last thing I need is her on my back again.”
> 
> “Ok.”
> 
> “Ok.”

Then the conversation was over.

Robert would have to explain himself to the only person who truly knew him.

……………………………

Aaron spent the next few hours trying not to think about Robert. He didn’t want to think about his golden hair and the way it fell just above his eyes. He didn’t want to think about his smile and the way it lit up his whole face. He didn’t want to think about what he would be wearing because if it was the blue sweater and leather jacket combo, he knew he wouldn’t be able to resist.

Aaron told himself to get a grip, he needed to get ready. Just because they weren’t together anymore didn’t mean Aaron couldn’t make himself irresistible. He wanted Robert to walk in the door and feel intimidated the way that Robert made him feel. So he spent the rest of his morning, the parts were he wasn’t thinking about Robert, getting ready to meet Robert. He showered, even shaved a little, picked out his best hoodie and put on the aftershave he knew Robert liked.

………………………………

Robert hadn’t been able to keep the smile off his face all morning. Yes he still had the sinking feeling in his stomach that he would actually have to explain himself, but he didn’t care, he was going to see Aaron, and it would just be the two of them. He tried not to think about Aarons blue eyes, he tried not to wonder how much his facial hair had grown since the last time he saw him and how it would feel beneath his fingers. When Robert dressed this morning he did so with Aaron in mind. He picked the same outfit he was wearing when he’d first kissed Aaron. A blue sweater combined with a leather jacket he would add later. He knew he looked good whenever he wore the jacket, people often complimented him. He had been neglecting his work, it got so bad then even Lawrence had noticed. Robert just fobbed him off, explaining he had managed to book a very important meeting that afternoon.


	4. The Staircase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Robert explain to Aaron what the photograph means?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient with me about uploading, please feel free to leave feedback, this is my first multi chapter and I would really appreciate your input.

Robert arrived at the back door to the pub. He was about to knock on the door but he couldn’t make his fist connect. He was nervous, he never got nervous. His hands were sweating. This conversation could lead him down an entirely different path that he wasn’t sure he was ready for. How was he supposed to admit his true feelings when he wasn’t sure how he really felt. All he knew was that picture, that week meant everything to him.

‘ _Get a grip man_ ,’ he told himself and knocked.

As soon as he saw Aaron standing in the doorway all the anxiety disappeared. He knew he couldn’t lie to this man, this adorable man, in front of him. He would just have to tell him the truth.

Aaron opened the back door and just looked at him.

‘ _Oh God, he’s wearing the jacket_ ’ was his first thought.

His second was that he looked nervous for some reason.

Aaron stepped back and let Robert into the hallway. He took up a position at the bottom of the stairs, leaning on the bannister for support, hoping to hide the fact that he knees had gone weak at the sight of Robert.

Robert followed Aaron in shutting the door behind him. He couldn’t take his eyes off the younger boy. He looked incredible, the blue eyes were shining, the beard was trimmed and he smelt wonderful. He couldn’t help but notice the effect he was having on Aaron, he had to lean against the bannister just to stop him from falling over.

‘ _I must look good_.’ Robert though smugly.

They stayed that way for about 5 minutes, taking each other in, it had been so long since they were alone like this, neither of them wanted to spoil it.

Aaron knew that if he didn’t break the silence he would end up kissing Robert and he wasn’t sure if either of them wanted that.

“Well, I’m still waiting.”

“Aaron, I don’t know what to say,” Robert replied quietly.

“Start with when and why?” “I like looking at it.” Robert answered, avoiding Aarons eyes.

“What the hell Robert, you like looking at it?”

“Yeah, it makes me smile.” Robert admitted bashfully.

Aaron had never seen Robert like this, all embarrassed and shy. It made him look even more breath-taking if that was at all possible. The mighty Robert Sugden actually had a heart.

“But why Robert, why do you need that to make you feel happy when you've got everything you wanted?”

“But I haven't though Aaron, that's the point.”

“Yes you have Robert, you wanted her back so go, ok, just go”.

He didn’t want to go, not now, not ever, so he pleaded with Aaron.

“Please let me explain.”

“I've heard it all before mate, nothing's changed.” Aaron said.

“But it has for me.” Robert replied softly.

That got Aaron's attention. What had changed? Had Chrissie finally thrown him out? Aaron didn’t want to let himself think about that. He didn’t want to let Robert squirm his way back into his life.

“Stop playing games Robert, I gave you an out remember, all you had to do was be honest.”

“You want honesty?”

Aaron nodded.

“That pictures means more to me than you'll ever know, it's brought me comfort and peace when I needed it the most. That week, that week, when I took that picture was the best week of my life.”

Aaron's face fell, had he just heard him correctly? _The best week of his life?_

“So yes, I look at that photo and it makes me smile, it makes me think that I was happy once, that we were happy once, that all the stuff that has happened over the past few weeks will work itself out and we can go back to that.”

“Robert we…..”

Cutting Aaron off, Robert pleaded again,

“Let me finish.”

“I've been having these dreams, well nightmares really, that I'm chasing something or that I’ve lost something and I can't quite reach it.” “I googled it.”

Aaron scoffed.

“And according to google the dreams suggest I am anxious about my current life situation, that I don’t fit in, that I’m feeling trapped or stuck in a real life situation, that I’m worried or threatened by my own insecurities.”

“Basically my subconscious is trying to tell me that I need to overcome my fear/anxiety or whatever.”

“You know me, what am I most afraid of?”

Aaron answers quietly,

“What other people think of you.”

“Exactly, I need people to see that I’ve made something of myself, that I have the right kind of life, the right car, the right clothes, that I live in a nice house, but I’ve come to realise that none of that is worth it Aaron if I’m not happy.”

“You make me a better person Aaron, less arrogant for lack of a better word and I think I make you a better person, you are less grumpy with me.” Robert can’t help the grin on his face when he calls Aaron grumpy.

“We are meant to be together Aaron.”

“What are you saying Robert?”

He runs his hand over his face and sighs,

“The thing that I’ve lost and I can’t reach Aaron, is……………………you.”

Aaron just stood there

‘ _Me?_ ’

Before he could think his mouth opened,

“Too right, ya av lost me mate.”

Robert actually looked hurt at Aarons words.

“What do you expect Robert, you can’t just pick me up whenever you feel like it”.

Robert feels like he is losing him all over again, like he is in his dream expect it’s happening for real this time.

“But Aaron,” Robert says moving closer.

“No buts Robert.” Aaron replies holding his hand up so that Robert can’t touch him, he knows if that happens things will end badly.

“This isn’t a but, Aaron, it’s a statement.”

“I want you. I’m happy with you,” Roberts continues, smiling at Aaron.

Now it was Aarons turn to look hurt.

“You can’t say those things to me Robert, it’s not fair. Do you have any idea what it feels like when you smile at me like that? That genuine smile that you save just for me. No, you don’t, because one minute you’re smiling and the next you’re scowling because I’ve said the wrong thing or insulted you in some way. It’s like I’m your own personal punching bag, no because you know what, if I was than at least I would be able to feel something, right now it’s just numb. Your words mean nothing to me mate.” Aarons voice breaking on the last sentence.

“But Aaron, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Aaron moved from where he was leaning against the bannister, he had to sit down.

They were both quiet for what seemed like eternity, both wondering what the other was thinking, both too scared to say what they were feeling.

Aaron looks up and says softly,

“Do you mean it?”

“You know me better than that don’t you, I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”

Aaron looks down at his hands again. He pulls his phone out and brings up the picture on his screen.

He just looks at it. They were really happy. Aaron remembers the morning, it must have been taken before they got out of bed. He can’t help the blush creep across his face when he remembers what they did in that bed. Robert is right, they were both happy and this photo proves it. Well it proves Aaron was, his eyes are closed but his mouth is curled up in a stupid grin. Robert must have taken it while he was still sleeping.

Because the picture that caused all of his, that Robert has cherished over the past few weeks, is just him. Just Aaron.

Robert leans in over Aaron and smiles when he sees Aaron looking at the image.

He puts his finger under Aarons chin and raises his face so that he is looking into those two blue eyes. He’s surprised Aaron has let him in this close so he’s gonna make the most of the opportunity.

“It’s you Aaron, I choose you.” Robert whispers softly before closing the distance between them and gently touching his lips to Aarons.


End file.
